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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:15:21 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:15:21 GMT -5
yup me going to tell boring jokes
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:17:33 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:17:33 GMT -5
Yo mama so ugly, when she was a baby, she had to have porkchops tied around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:18:55 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:18:55 GMT -5
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!" The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.
As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"
The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."
The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:21:09 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:21:09 GMT -5
Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY sh*t my pants..."
hehehe
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:25:40 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:25:40 GMT -5
Three men are on a plane. The first one throws a rock out of the plane. When he lands, he finds a child crying and asks him, "Why are you crying?" The child says a rock fell out of the sky and hit his dad on the head. The second man on the plane throws a dog's bone. When he lands the plane he finds a woman crying and asks, "Why are you crying?" The woman says, "A bone fell out of the sky and hit my husband on the head" The third man on the plane throws a bomb. When he lands the plane, he finds an old man laughing and asks him, "Why are you laughing?" The old man replies, "I farted and my house blew up."
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:28:51 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:28:51 GMT -5
kk i'll tell more jokes tomorow
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:31:43 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:31:43 GMT -5
i guess i can tell 1 more joke
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:35:34 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:35:34 GMT -5
ummm i cant think of any
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:47:44 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:47:44 GMT -5
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:53:28 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:53:28 GMT -5
yup
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 15:53:47 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 15:53:47 GMT -5
no more jokes for today
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 17:04:45 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 17:04:45 GMT -5
hehehe
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 17:42:55 GMT -5
Post by Lil on Jun 21, 2005 17:42:55 GMT -5
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 17:48:35 GMT -5
Post by Lil on Jun 21, 2005 17:48:35 GMT -5
Huh? Who signed in to my username?
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 17:48:53 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 17:48:53 GMT -5
*stares at the wall* uhh yea... (hehehe)
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Jokes
Jun 21, 2005 17:49:32 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 21, 2005 17:49:32 GMT -5
me didnt
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 13:56:34 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 13:56:34 GMT -5
ok time for more jokes!
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 14:04:59 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 14:04:59 GMT -5
im still thinking
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 14:11:58 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 14:11:58 GMT -5
Dam i cant think of any
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 14:14:06 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 14:14:06 GMT -5
im just going to tell weird stories that arent true
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 14:15:43 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 14:15:43 GMT -5
A pancake has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick the pancake up you find the gooey syrup and the creamy butter are like on the floor and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered in lint, dustmites, a splotch of still-moist mustard from the night before, a broken match, a dirty fingernail, and of course millions of squirming, pulsing bacteria. Also: the pancake now smells like bellybutton, so you puke. But your stomach is empty so you dry heave, and now the pancake is covered in your early morning breakfast. Anyway, you're so hungry so you eat the pancake. Man, that is totally gross.
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 14:18:53 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 14:18:53 GMT -5
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were all builders and they were working on a sky-scraper. They always ate lunch on the top of the building. The brunette always had a ham sandwich for her lunch, The red head always had a cheese sandwich, and the blonde always had a turkey sandwich. One day they all got sick of always having the same thing to eat everyday, so they made a deal. They all said that if they brought the same sandwich they usually bring, they would have to jump off of the top of the building. The next day, the blonde was found dead on the ground by the building. The husbands of the three builders were there and they started to talk. The red head's husband said to the other two men, "I packed my wife a peanut butter and jelly j so she wouldn't jump off."
The husband of the brunette said to the other two men, "I packed my wife a turkey sandwich so she wouldnt jump off."
They both looked at the Husband of the blonde and he said:" Don't look at me, my wife packs her own lunch!"
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 14:24:25 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 14:24:25 GMT -5
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 18:43:50 GMT -5
Post by Key on Jun 22, 2005 18:43:50 GMT -5
..........
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Jokes
Jun 22, 2005 19:43:08 GMT -5
Post by Mudd on Jun 22, 2005 19:43:08 GMT -5
yupster!
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